Ello my name his Hallan

Upon arrival at the Highlander Hotel in Mt Hagen recently, I was handed the guest card by the hotel reception staff with my name printed in bold letters as Dr Hotiz (aargghh). Earlier an airline company wrote my name on the invoice as Dr Otis (as in elevator maker?), another one wrote it as Ogiz (Saint Peter’s loyal pet rooster) and another thought it was Otiks (some aliens’ name from planet Z). To add insult to injury another hotel made several modifications (and assassinations) on my first name and wrote it as Guinegere and Quinevere on separate occasions. How frustrating!

To make myself feel better, I’ve made a bit of research on the cause of my dilemma and just to assure myself that I am not speech impaired.

The answer partly lies on the fact that Papua New Guineans speak English using a non-rhotic accent just like most of England. Non-rhotic speakers pronounce /r/ only if it is followed by a vowel sound and not always even then. For non-rhotic accent speakers, Peter becomes Phi-tah, paper becomes pey-pah and my lovely Spanish surname Ortiz becomes Oo-tiz. Filipinos on the other hand are considered rhotic speakers as they pronounce written /r/ in all positions, as in the case with general American English.

Oddly, /H/ is pronounced by a good majority as “heitch.” However, “highlands” is read as “ai-lands” and “island” becomes “hay-land” (and I become Dr Hotiz, there you go) while a local restaurant offers “ashbrowns with grilled tomato” on its menu (as well as pump steak with Cecar salad on the side).

With all these confusion you are likely to end up in the middle of the ocean instead of landing on top of a mountain and having ashes for breakfast if you are not careful.